Don’t Talk to Me Until I’ve Had My Quiet Time (and My Coffee... and Maybe My Therapist)

Sisters, Listen. I don’t know who needs to hear this, but that whole “rise and grind” energy? Uhm...Yeah...No. These days, I’m more of a “rise, pause, sip, pray, ignore texts until I feel like a human” kind of girl, because let me tell you something: mornings are sacred. The way I start my day determines if I’m walking into the world feeling centered…or if I’m side-eying the first person who dares to ask me for something before 10 a.m.

The Art of the Soft Start

Gone are the days of rolling out of bed and jumping straight into chaos. Now? I need a moment. Preferably in silence. With my coffee, my devotional, and absolutely no unexpected emails. Just me, Jesus, and a good stretch. My phone? Still on Do Not Disturb. Group chat? Ignored with love. Children knocking? Gently redirected. Because I can’t pour into anyone until I’ve poured into myself and neither can you. That’s not selfish—that’s spiritual strategy.

Coffee (Tea), Quiet, and Mental Clarity

Now let’s talk about the Holy Trinity of my morning: Quiet Time: whether it’s scripture, meditation, or just five minutes of deep breathing while hiding from responsibilities. Tea (or coffee): because sometimes mental health is brewed in a mug. My Therapist (or journal): because some mornings I need more than vibes—I need validation and emotional tools. There’s something powerful about starting your day by affirming, “I deserve peace before productivity.” Let that sit for a second.

The Mental Health Message (Tucked Under All This Sass)

The truth is, how we start our mornings matters. As Black women, the world pulls at us from the moment our eyes open. People want things. Life demands things. And we give. And give. And give. But the practice of protecting your morning? That’s you giving to you first. Creating a morning ritual—no matter how simple—is your way of saying: “I matter. My mind matters. My peace matters.”

So whether your routine includes deep prayer or just hiding in the bathroom for five quiet minutes before the world finds you—that counts. That’s care. That’s resistance. That’s real.

Affirmation Corner: “I honor my need for quiet, care, and calm. I don’t rush my peace. I pour into me before I pour into the world.”

Now go ahead, my sisters. Light that candle. Stir that creamer. Turn up that gospel (or Erykah—we don’t judge here). Whatever your morning needs, give it to yourself without apology.

And if you don’t answer that text until noon? That’s your business.

Peace before people.

-Sharon Bailey